Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
I know the headline on this column says “Let’s argue,” but honestly, there is no argument here.
There are two types of people in this world: people who rightfully eat savory grits and people who belong on a watchlist. Someone call the Department of Homeland Security, please.
It’s really not up for debate. Why are you putting sugar in your grits when Cream of Wheat is right there? Hell, do they still make Malt-O-Meal? If you need something with that texture to have a sugar sweetness to it when you eat it, those are probably your better options.
You could even have oatmeal and fix it up with sugar, cinnamon, raisins, bananas, apples, sliced almonds, and any number of other things that turn regular oatmeal into spectacular oatmeal. I’m an expert at this; remind me to share the way I make apple cinnamon oatmeal overnight in my little two-quart Crock-Pot.
There are so many options for people who want a sweet grain with their breakfast, so I don’t know why they want to whore grits out and make them into something they are not.
I personally put garlic salt, pepper, and cheese in my grits. I use different cheeses depending on the mood I’m in. On regular days, it’s mild cheddar cheese, but when I’m feeling fancy, I may go with fresh parmesan, smoked gouda or even Gruyere.
The Bahamians in the audience will tell you that you have not lived until you’ve experienced boiled fish (grouper) and grits for breakfast. There was a time when tourists in Nassau had to get up super early if they wanted to partake in this traditional island breakfast because it would sell out quickly — most days before 10 a.m.
There’s also shrimp and grits, and I say this knowing that all shrimp and grits are not created equal, but if you find someone who really knows what they are doing in the kitchen and they make the grits creamy, the shrimp tender and delicious, and the sauce not too runny, go with that person. This is a delicacy.
Even if you eat them the old-fashioned way with just butter, table salt and pepper, nothing beats mixing your grits with your scrambled eggs and putting a bite of bacon or sausage in your mouth as you eat it by the forkful.
There’s a restaurant here in Los Angeles called M’Dears that serves the best catfish, eggs and grits breakfast you have ever had in your life. Their grits are perfectly seasoned, and all you need to add is the extra butter I know we all put on our grits because unless the butter is like a little lake on top of your grits before you stir it in, did you even put butter on them for real?
M’Dears knows what they are doing. Their entire breakfast menu is full of savory grits options, and if you want something sweet, you go for the peach cobbler jelly (I hear they will mail it to you if you are out of state), which is superb, and you eat it on top of one of their fluffy buttermilk biscuits.
I’m getting sidetracked, but it’s because I had a flashback to eating their delicious fried chicken wings for breakfast with a side of grits.
Even Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles serves grits as a side, and the grits are savory!
The point is that grits, salt and pepper go together. Sugar and grits do not.
People who eat sugar on their grits obviously don’t appreciate life and don’t like nice things. We should shun these people, even if they are people that we love.
Sometimes the only way to make a person correct the error of their ways is to call them out on it.
Would you put sugar in your eggs? Are you going to add sugar to your steak? Do you think sugar belongs on your avocado toast?
The answer to all of those questions is “no,” and the answer to the great debate of sugar vs. salt on grits is salt.
I know I said “let’s argue,” but like I said, there really is no argument here, but you are welcome to voice your opinion.
Just know that your opinion is trash just like your sugary grits.
Monique Judge is a storyteller, content creator and writer living in Los Angeles. She is a word nerd who is a fan of the Oxford comma, spends way too much time on Twitter, and has more graphic t-shirts than you. Follow her on Twitter @thejournalista or check her out at moniquejudge.com.
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